


The Spaces Between Us

by enigmaticblue



Series: Ghosts from the Past [7]
Category: NCIS, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epistolary, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-27 00:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13869582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticblue/pseuds/enigmaticblue
Summary: Their time together is all too limited, so they have to use their words.





	The Spaces Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the trope_bingo prompt “epistolary”

“I can’t believe you got permission for this,” Tony mutters as he adjusts his tac vest. He’s worn them plenty of times before, but never in olive green and over fatigues.

 

“Are you kidding?” John asks. “I had to be here for your first trip through the ‘gate. The _Daedalus_ leaves tomorrow, and I’ll be on it, but this is just a milk run.”

 

Tony glares at him. “Don’t jinx us.”

 

“Fair point.” John runs his hands over Tony’s arms. “You okay?”

 

“Nervous,” Tony admits.

 

The last few months have been a whirlwind. Christmas with John’s family, the third wedding, a honeymoon in Atsugi to allow Tony to wrap up some loose ends with his team there, then back to D.C. The SGC had allowed John all that time, probably more for Tony’s sake, and they’re now allowing him to accompany Tony on his first trip through the ‘gate.

 

John grips Tony’s vest and pulls him close, pressing their foreheads together. “Don’t be nervous. You’re going to do fine. It’s a piece of cake.”

 

“You’re still jinxing us,” Tony complains good-naturedly.

 

“I have something for you,” John says with a smile and holds out a set of metal tags on a chain with rubber silencers.

 

Tony frowns. “I didn’t enlist, John.”

 

“No, but dog tags serve a purpose,” John says quietly. “And you probably shouldn’t wear your ring in the field.” He pulls out his own set of tags, and Tony sees the wedding ring dangling there. “You don’t have to do this. It’s not too late.”

 

“I want this,” he replies. “I’m sure, John. Don’t worry about me.”

 

Tony takes his ring off and drops it onto the chain, then puts the chain over his head. He feels the weight of the tags against his skin when he slips them under his t-shirt. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“I know,” John says. “You’re going to be awesome.”

 

Tony nods. “Let’s do this.”

 

John’s team is back on Atlantis, so they’re going on the milk run with Cameron Mitchell’s team. Mitchell has an earnest, good old boy charm, and he welcomed both of them with apparent sincerity during the initial briefing.

 

They join him in front of the gate, and Mitchell nods at both of them. “Good to have you both with us. Agent DiNozzo, welcome to the SGC.”

 

“Thanks,” Tony replies. “Good of you to have us.”

 

“Saves us from having to do any investigating,” Mitchell says with a grin. “Better you than me, man.”

 

“That’s what I’m here for,” Tony replies.

 

“Going through the gate ain’t no thing,” Mitchell says, and he gives Sheppard a deliberate, obvious wink. “I’ll take good care of your husband, Shep. Congrats by the way.”

 

That last Mitchell throws out there in an off-hand manner that’s a better indication of his feelings than anybody who goes out of their way to offer well wishes just to seem like they’re cool with it.

 

“Thanks,” Sheppard says for both of them.

 

Vala Mal Doran comes skipping up with a wide grin. “Well, well, I can see that we’re going to have extra pretty guests on this trip. What are you boys doing here?”

 

Mitchell rolls his eyes, but it’s fairly good humored. “It’s DiNozzo’s first trip through the gate, as you would know if you were at the briefing, so be nice, Vala.”

 

“I’m always nice,” Vala protests, but she’s eyeing Tony with a predatory gleam in her eyes.

 

“He’s also married,” John inserts. “To me.”

 

She sighs dramatically. “Of course you’re both off the market.” She perks up. “You wouldn’t be interested in a threesome, would you?”

 

Tony chokes on his own spit, John snorts, and Mitchell just shakes his head. Daniel Jackson joins them a few moments later. “What did I miss?”

 

“Vala is angling for a threesome with DiNozzo and Sheppard,” Mitchell says blandly.

 

It’s Daniel’s turn to choke, and he shoots Vala a dirty look. She just smiles innocently, and Tony decides to throw her a bone. “I have taken very serious vows, and my husband is most sincerely gay, so we’ll have to pass. The offer is tempting though.”

 

Daniel glares at Tony’s flirtatious tone, but John just looks incredibly amused. “Well, I’ve never said I wouldn’t _watch_.”

 

Now Daniel glares at both of them, and Vala smirks. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

Mitchell’s shoulders are actually shaking, and when Teal’c joins them a moment later, he asks, “Is something amusing you, Colonel Mitchell?”

 

“I’m amused because I’m fairly sure DiNozzo and Vala should either never be allowed to go on the same mission, or we should just set them loose on everybody together,” Mitchell says.

 

“Never would be my preference,” John says mildly.

 

Tony shrugs. “I don’t know. I think we’d make a great team.”

 

“The taken ones are always the best,” Vala agrees, slipping her arm through Tony’s. “Don’t worry, Colonel Sheppard, I’ll keep him safe for you.”

 

John huffs a laugh. “Only you, Tony.”

 

“I can’t help it that you’re not the only person I can charm the pants off of,” Tony says. “You’re just the only one I _want_ to charm the pants off.”

 

“Oh, my god, get a room,” Mitchell mutters.

 

Tony smiles. “Mission first.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” John replies with a smile.

 

Tony just grins at him helplessly, so in love that it hurts, and the world falls away. In that moment, the only person who exists is John Sheppard, and they’re going to visit an alien planet together.

 

Vala pats his chest. “Talk some sense into Daniel, will you?”

 

Tony glances down at her. “Well, since you ask so nicely.”

 

“It would be nice to have someone look at me the way you look at Sheppard,” Vala whispers.

 

“It’s pretty nice from this end, too,” Tony replies, and pats her hand.

 

The gate is cold and kind of weird, but not awful. And on the other side, Tony is standing in a forest on an alien planet, and he’s not sure what that says about his life.

 

“Pretty cool, huh?” John asks.

 

Tony looks up at the clear blue sky. “Yeah, pretty cool.”

 

~~~~~

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: February 5, 2012

Re: [no subject]

 

I miss you already. You’ve been gone three hours, and I have no idea when you’ll get this, but I miss you. And I don’t say that to make you feel guilty for going back, or so that you’ll think I’m lonely without you (although I am), just that I got used to you being here, and now you’re not.

 

I love you. I’m counting down the days.

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: February 6, 2012

Re: re: [no subject]

 

I think Caldwell misses you. I have no idea what kind of voodoo you practiced on him, but I swear he looks wistful! I blame you.

 

I looked in on the people you asked me to, and Mira is fine. I think she’s coping, and the rest of the crew has rallied around her, which helps. She approached me first because she said you’d helped her, and she wanted to be sure I was okay. She’s a sweet kid, and I told her she’d be welcome on Atlantis if she ever wanted a transfer. That will probably make Caldwell hate me, but I figure it was worth it if she knows she has an out.

 

Love you, too,

 

John

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: February 11, 2012

Re: Sorry

 

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write. We stumbled across a Trust plant. Well, Andrew did. I think you knew he was being vetted, along with Jody and Kyra. They all jumped at the chance to get back to the States, and they’re solid. I suggested Gibbs, but the consensus was that he’s too close to retirement to justify reading him in, and McGee had a few too many red flags with what happened before. It’s too bad, since he’s a damn fine computer geek, but you have your share of those.

 

Anyway, they’re solid agents, we have a team, and we’re running a Trust cell to ground. It’s like the old days. Kyra says to tell you hi, and she thinks you were super hot in your uniform at our wedding, Jody’s girlfriend is getting transferred to the SGC, and Andrew is making eyes at a few people in the mountain.

 

I’m safe, in other words. Don’t worry about me.

 

Love,

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: February 15, 2012

Re: re: re: Sorry

 

I knew you were going to be brilliant. I’m glad you got your team back, too. They seem really solid, and I feel better knowing that you have people you trust watching your back since I can’t be there.

 

We had a mission two days ago, and I just got back and cleared medical. I’m fine, don’t worry, but the gate broke down, and McKay spent two days fixing it. He’ll never admit it, but we had enough food for a week. To hear him tell it, he was the only reason we survived.

 

To be fair, it’s partly true, but don’t tell Rodney that. He’s got a big enough head as it is.

 

I miss you. When are you coming back to Atlantis?

 

John

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: February 17, 2012

Re: Two months to go

 

I’m coming out on the _Daedalus_ run the first part of April. The brass wants me to poke around again, make sure things have cleared up, and there aren’t any additional problems. The gene therapy worked for Jody, so I’ll be bringing her along.

 

Things have been a little slower lately. We had a couple of Marines who got caught abusing pain pills. I felt a little bad for them, since they were both injured, and trying to suck it up, but they’re going to get an Article 15 for sure, and they might be out of the SGC. As far as criminals go, they weren’t much of a challenge. But maybe that’s okay.

 

Love you,

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: February 28, 2012

Re: re: Two months to go

 

I’m sorry it’s been so long. It’s been one emergency after another for the last two weeks. I think you probably heard, but we had a Wraith attack. I’m fine. I took a stunner to the chest, and that knocked me out of commission, but there’s no lasting damage.

 

We lost five people, though. And Tony, as much as I wish you were with me, I’m glad you weren’t here when the attack happened. I want to tell you not to come, because I don’t want to risk you, but I know it’s your job.

 

I miss you, I love you. I’ll see you soon.

 

John

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: March 3, 2012

Re: I read the reports

 

I was a little freaked out, but I know you. I know you’ll do your best to be there for me, just like I’m going to do my best to be safe for you.

 

Things here have been fairly exciting as well. The Trust is made up of a bunch of assholes, you know that? We found out they were paying a few people in the Mountain for information. I distracted myself with the investigation while I was waiting to hear from you.

 

Don’t worry about me. I’ll have Jody to watch my back, and I’ve been training.

 

Love,

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: February 28, 2012

Re: re: I read the reports

 

Even though I’m afraid of what might happen to you if you come here, it doesn’t mean I don’t want you here, or that I don’t imagine what it would be like to have you here full time. It’s just with recent events, I think about what could have happened if they’d attacked with you here, or if they attacked the _Daedalus_.

 

But then I realize you probably think about the Wraith coming here, and I know I’m a hypocrite for wanting you safe when I have a dangerous job.

 

The city should be back in full working order and all cleaned up by the time you get here.

 

Love,

 

John

 

~~~~~

 

“Colonel Caldwell, it’s a pleasure,” Tony says warmly, shaking Caldwell’s hand. “How have you been?”

 

“Good,” Caldwell replies. “And you, Assistant Director DiNozzo?”

 

“It’s Tony, please,” he insists. “And I’ve been well.”

 

“Steven,” he says. “Congratulations on your promotion. It’s well deserved.”

 

“I don’t know about that, but I’m finding it interesting. This is Agent Jody Wells.”

 

“Agent Wells, welcome aboard.” Caldwell greets her with warm handshake. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve put you in with Airman Lee.”

 

“I don’t mind a bit, Colonel,” Jody says easily. “I know quarters are tight. I’m just excited to be here.”

 

That last is said in a perfectly even tone, and Tony hides a smile. Kyra would be beside herself, and even Andrew would have been vibrating with excitement. Jody is treating it like another Agent Afloat trip.

 

“Thank you for your understanding, Agent Wells,” Caldwell says. “Airman Lee will show you to your quarters. Tony, maybe you’d like to join me.”

 

Although it’s phrased as a request, Tony knows better, and he joins Caldwell in the cleared-out officers’ mess. “How have things been?”

 

“Better,” Caldwell admits. “I didn’t have the chance to thank you before.”

 

Tony shrugs off the gratitude. “Just doing my job, sir.”

 

Caldwell gives him a look. “That wasn’t part of your job, and you know it, Tony. That was a favor to me.”

 

“It kept me from getting bored,” Tony says. “And I’ve been told I’m a real pain in the ass when I’m bored.”

 

“I’ll bet you’ve been told you’re a pain in the ass at other times, too,” Caldwell comments.

 

Tony smirks. “Guilty as charged. I hope you don’t have another problem for me to solve.”

 

“No, nothing like that,” Caldwell replies. “But I’m afraid that we’re not going to the Pegasus Galaxy this trip.”

 

Tony sighs. “What’s up?”

 

“We have a problem with one of our off site facilities,” Caldwell explains. “There have been a number of thefts, and we’re not sure whether it’s raiders or something else. We didn’t want them to know you were coming, so we’re disguising you as IOA members on a routine inspection, since it’s an important mining operation.”

 

He knows his duty, and isn’t about to refuse. “Tell me that this isn’t about the recent Wraith attack.”

 

Caldwell winces. “It’s at least partially due to the attack. No one wants to risk you.”

 

“I’m not claiming to be expendable, but I’m no more important than anybody else,” Tony protests.

 

Caldwell leans back in his chair. “Tell me, DiNozzo, how many gene carriers do you think we have who can handle the chair?”

 

Tony frowns. “That’s what this is about?”

 

“Until you worked for the SGC, your participation was strictly voluntary,” Caldwell says. “Technically, it still is, but while the Ori are no longer the threat they were, the Lucian Alliance is probably going to be a problem. We need someone who can use the chair. You’ll get to Atlantis, but they’re proceeding with caution given recent events.”

 

Tony rubs his eyes. “No offense, Steven, but it’s that attitude that makes me to want to tell the SGC they can fuck right off. I took this job so I could see John more than once a year—if that.”

 

“And if we didn’t need you at the mining location, you’d still be on your way there,” Caldwell replies.

 

Tony nods. “And once we’re done?”

 

“We have orders to take you back to Earth, and then we have an unrelated job to do,” Caldwell says. “The next Pegasus run, you’re on it, but it won’t be on the _Daedalus_.”

 

Tony nods. “Okay. Is that going to be a problem?”

 

“Do you know Colonel Carter?”

 

Hesitantly, he says, “Sure. We invited her and General O’Neill to the wedding, but they couldn’t make it. Is that why?”

 

“They both had pressing concerns that I can’t talk about,” Caldwell confirms. “I know they were sorry not to make it.”

 

Tony nods. “Thanks for telling me what you can.”

 

“We need to know what’s going on with our mining colony,” Caldwell replies. “And who’s responsible. We think you can find out.”

 

Tony runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sure. I’ll do my best.”

 

“That’s all we ask,” Caldwell responds. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

 

Tony shrugs philosophically. “It’s not your fault. I knew when I married John—before I married John—that our lives weren’t exactly our own. I was a cop for a long time, and I get it.”

 

He’s less sanguine when he emails John.

 

~~~~~

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: April 10, 2012

Re: I hate these assholes

 

I don’t even know which assholes I’m referring to. Maybe the SGC, maybe the Lucian Alliance, maybe whoever in charge who decided that they’re not going to allow me to go to Pegasus right now. I’m sure you’ve heard by now, but I’m going to be delayed. Caldwell assures me that I’ll get to Atlantis again eventually, but I have to finish this investigation, and then I’ll hitch a ride with Colonel Carter whenever she can spare the time to make a supply run to you guys.

 

It’s not Caldwell’s fault, but I was tempted to punch him in the face when he told me we wouldn’t be heading your way. I mean, I get it, I do. I understand all about duty, but dammit, I know at least part of it is my gene. I have a lot of sympathy for you right now, because this sucks, John.

 

I’ll let you know how things go.

 

Love,

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: April 13, 2012

Re: re: I hate these assholes

 

I wish I could say I was surprised, but I’m not. Our lives are not our own, and there’s only one of you for the whole SGC. I know what General O’Neill promised, but you getting to Atlantis isn’t going to be an investigative priority. If there’s somewhere they need you more, that’s where they’re going to send you.

 

Don’t think I don’t want you here, Tony, but you getting here was never going to be a priority.

 

Good luck with the investigation. I’ll see you when you get here.

 

Love,

 

John

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: April 14, 2012

Re: re: re: I hate these assholes

 

So…I have to ask if you’re pissed off at me for some reason. I know it’s harder to communicate this way in a lot of respects, and maybe I’m reading something into this that isn’t there, but you don’t seem happy. If it’s something I’ve done, I’d like a chance to make it right, even if I can’t be right there with you.

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: April 18, 2012

Re: re: re: re: I hate these assholes

 

I miss you, and I hate you not being here, and I hate not being able to watch your back. I thought it would be easier once we were married, but it’s harder.

 

I’m sorry.

 

John

 

~~~~~

 

John pushed back from his desk after he finished typing his email, feeling like a total heel. Tony doesn’t need to be worried about him on top of everything else.

 

It’s been harder to be separated than he expected. John wants to see Tony _so badly_ , but he doesn’t want Tony in danger, and the recent Wraith attack is a reminder that he would be.

 

And then John reminds himself that Tony has a dangerous job, that he can’t keep Tony safe, as much as he’d like to, and he feels like shit all over again.

 

“Bad news?” Lorne asks, poking his head into the office, as though checking the temperature of the room before risking full entry.

 

John rubs his eyes. “Tony’s going to be delayed, and he thinks I’m pissed at him.”

 

“Are you?” Lorne asks, sitting down at his own desk, apparently deciding that John isn’t going to erupt any time soon.

 

“No, of course not,” John replies. “What do I have to be mad at him about? I haven’t seen him for two months.”

 

Lorne raises his eyebrows. “I’ve been in enough relationships to know that you don’t always need a concrete reason to be angry.”

 

John runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t want him here.”

 

“Because of the Wraith attack.”

 

“Yeah, and I really want him here, too,” John replies. “So I’m more pissed off at myself for being a dick and making him worried while he’s in the middle of a case.”

 

“Which could prove a distraction and put him in more danger,” Lorne supplies.

 

John glares at him. “Thanks.”

 

“Do you want sympathetic noises, or do you want an outside perspective?” Lorne asks.

 

Lorne has a level head on his shoulders, and even if he’s single, John really doesn’t want to go to his team for this. He already knows what they’re going to say.

 

“Perspective,” John says.

 

“You need to wrap your head around this, sir,” Lorne replies frankly. “Long distance relationships are hard. Don’t make it harder than it has to be.”

 

Lorne’s blunt words are a kick in the ass, but probably one he needs. “Thanks. I’m going to let Teyla beat me up.”

 

“I hope you feel better, sir,” Lorne says.

 

John shrugs. “Yeah, thanks, Evan.”

 

“Any time, Colonel.”

 

Teyla gives John a look when he shows up. “What’s going on, John?”

 

“Tony isn’t coming, and he thinks I’m upset with him.”

 

Teyla gestures to the sticks. “Then I suppose you’ve come to the right place.”

 

“Are you going to talk to him?” Teyla says after she’s managed to get through his defenses a few times.

 

“Yeah, of course,” John replies defensively. “I’m married to him.”

 

Teyla smiles. “Marriage does not require talking to someone, although it certainly doesn’t hurt.”

 

“Lorne already told me that I shouldn’t make things worse by not communicating with him,” John says, fending off Teyla’s next attack.

 

They’re too busy attacking and parrying to speak for the next few seconds, and then Teyla knocks the wind out of him, and John’s on his ass. “I know this is difficult for you, John, but you need to be honest with him.”

 

“I know,” John replies. “I could kick myself.”

 

Teyla attacks and pushes him back. “Or I could do it for you.”

 

“I’ll let Tony know that you offered,” John jokes.

 

“Tell him that it’s a serious offer,” Teyla replies.

 

John laughs. “And he’ll probably take you up on that.”

 

~~~~~

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: April 18, 2012

Re: re: re: re: I hate these assholes

 

I really am sorry. Teyla kicked my ass today, and said she’d be willing to do it whenever you thought it was necessary.

 

I miss you.

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: April 20, 2012

Re: [no subject]

 

It’s…I’m not going to say that it’s okay, but it’s understandable. We’re going to have some bumps in the road.

 

We’re in orbit around the planet and interviewing those stationed here. There’s something going on, but I’m not sure what it is yet.

 

Love,

 

Tony

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: April 22, 2012

Re: re: [no subject]

 

I know I don’t need to tell you to be careful. From what I know, the Lucian Alliance is active in that sector, and they’ve been a real problem for the SGC. And yeah, you can handle yourself, and Jody will watch your back, but I can’t help worrying. I’m sorry if that makes me an asshole.

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: jody.wells@ncis.navy.mil

Date: April 26, 2012

Re: Status Update

 

First off, please don’t worry, sir. Tony is fine, but he’s a little banged up. We got into a firefight with some members of the Lucian Alliance who were raiding the settlement. I don’t know if that’s the right word or not, but they appeared out of nowhere. Colonel Caldwell shot their ship out of the sky, but there was a raiding party on the ground already.

 

Tony would have written you himself, but he kind of broke his hand, and typing is hard for him, so he wanted me to let you know that he’s fine.

 

Also, he says he loves you and he’s not mad, and he’s reading this over my shoulder to make sure I don’t alarm you.

 

Respectfully,

 

Jody Wells

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: April 28, 2012

Re: re: re: [no subject]

 

I know you have a broken hand, and I get that it’s hard to type, but I need to hear from you directly, Tony. You’re starting to freak me out.

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

Date: April 30, 2012

Re: re: re: re: [no subject]

 

I’m ok. Don’t worry. See you soon.

 

To: tony.dinozzo@ncis.navy.mil

From: john.sheppard@af.mil

Date: May 2, 2012

Re: re: re: re: re: [no subject]

 

I need more than that.

 

To: john.sheppard@af.mil

From: jody.wells@ncis.navy.mil

Date: May 3, 2012

Re: re: Status Update

 

We’re on our way to Atlantis, sir. Assistant Director DiNozzo raised a fuss until they agreed. We should arrive by May 15.

 

Respectfully,

 

Jody Wells

 

~~~~~

 

Tony checks his reflection in the mirror with a rueful sigh. The swelling around his eye has gone down, but the bruising is still spectacular. John isn’t going to be happy, especially when he finds out exactly what went down with the Lucian Alliance raiders.

 

Really, though, it’s not Tony’s fault that there was a lieutenant who got sweet-talked into making a deal with the Lucian Alliance, or that the raiders showed up in response to his emergency beacon.

 

Tony killed three of them himself, and Jody took out a couple, so at least there’s that.

 

He glances down at the soft cast on his hand and winces. The injury is going to make things difficult for a while. And John is definitely not going to be happy about _that_ either.

 

The knock on the door startles him out of his thoughts, and he calls, “Yeah? Come in!”

 

“Sir, we’re fifteen minutes out from Atlantis,” Jody calls. “I thought you’d want to know.”

 

“Thanks, Jody,” Tony replies.

 

“Can I get your bag for you, sir?” Jody asks.

 

Tony sighs. “You’d probably better.”

 

“You’ll be back to work in no time, sir,” Jody says.

 

“That might be, but it doesn’t help me right now,” Tony counters. “And I only have a few days here.”

 

They couldn’t swing more time than that. The _George Hammond_ needs to head back to Earth in four days, after off loading the supplies they brought, and giving Tony a chance to get treatment with the Ancient healing devices that should cut his recovery time a lot shorter.

 

Really, Tony is grateful that he has as much time with John as he does, since they’d been talking about heading straight back to Earth so he could get treatment. Tony has read enough reports to know that the Ancient healing devices on Atlantis are going to get him back in the field that much faster.

 

At least, Tony thinks it’s worth a shot, since standard treatment on Earth would be immobilization and rest.

 

“I’m looking forward to seeing the city, sir,” Jody says cheerfully. “And to meeting your husband in person.”

 

Tony laughs. “Well, we’ll see how he feels about seeing me after what happened.”

 

“What happened at the mining settlement wasn’t your fault, and he can’t blame you for that,” Jody points out. “Besides, I’ll bet he’s so happy to see you, he forgets all about that.”

 

“Maybe,” Tony says dubiously. “It’s the first time I’m the one who’s injured.”

 

“So, you’re due,” Jody replies with a smile. “Relax, Tony.”

 

“You know, that’s the first time I think you’ve used my first name,” Tony says.

 

“We’re technically off the clock,” Jody replies. “Don’t get used to it.”

 

Tony grins, feeling the bruise on his face ache a bit. “You have my word.”

 

They join Colonel Carter on the bridge, and she smiles a greeting. “Tony, how are you feeling?”

 

“I’m just ready to see the city again,” Tony replies.

 

“And I’m sure the fact that your husband is there has nothing to do with it,” Carter replies, clearly amused.

 

Tony shrugs. “It doesn’t hurt.”

 

“Well, we’re just about there,” Carter replies. “Take us in for a landing on the East Pier,” she directs the navigator.

 

Tony remembers this part from the last time he was there on the _Daedalus_ with Caldwell, and as soon as they touch down, he heads for the hatch. Jody and Carter are right behind him, speaking in low tones.

 

Tony is too focused on John, and how John is going to respond to him, to pay much attention to what they’re saying. The hatch opens, and he’s glad he’s unencumbered by his bag, because John is standing right there, and Tony suddenly feels every day of the last few months they’ve spent apart.

 

John doesn’t say anything right away, just opens his arms, and Tony walks right into them.

 

“Okay, I’ve got you now,” John murmurs. “Don’t think you’re not going to tell me everything, too.”

 

“I’ll tell you,” Tony says. “I just—I’m okay.”

 

“I know you are,” John replies. “What do you need?”

 

“He needs the infirmary and an appointment with the Ancient healing device,” Carter says from behind him. “Agent Wells and I will make sure his bag makes it to your quarters.”

 

“Thanks,” John tosses off and puts an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “I thought I told you to be careful.”

 

“I was careful,” Tony protests. “And I killed three raiders. I feel like I should get credit for that.”

 

“You do, but I’d like to know how you hurt your hand,” John replies.

 

Tony hitches a shoulder. “Well, it’s kind of a funny story.”

 

“Am I going to laugh?”

 

Tony winces. “Yeah, probably not.”

 

“Tell me anyway,” John replies, sounding resigned.

 

Tony sighs. “Right, so, a lieutenant decides to throw in with the Lucian Alliance. He was letting them steal equipment and supplies. So, when I showed up and started asking questions, right about the time they were coming back for more, he responded poorly.”

 

“I’m guessing you were alone,” John replies.

 

“Jody was questioning our other suspect,” Tony admits. “He got the drop on me, and when I went for my gun, he stomped on my hand. A lot. What he didn’t know is that I can shoot with my left hand, too, although I’m not as good.”

 

“Good job,” John says. “I mean that.”

 

“You’re not mad?” Tony asks.

 

John shakes his head. “No, because I’m too fucking happy to see you to be mad, Tony. God, I’m just glad you’re okay, and I’m proud of you for taking out three of those assholes while injured. What happened to the lieutenant?”

 

“Him I knocked out,” Tony says with some satisfaction. “He’ll be spending a lot of time behind bars.”

 

“Good,” John says. “That’s really good, because otherwise I’d have to kill him.”

 

“I think you’d probably have to get in line,” Tony jokes. “I’m pretty sure Colonel Messer would have shot him between the eyes if I hadn’t knocked him out. He was pretty peeved.”

 

John snorts. “So would I be if I found out one of my people sold me out.”

 

They arrive in what Tony assumes is the infirmary, and John calls, “Doctor Keller! We need the Ancient healing device for Tony.”

 

Tony has met Keller before, and he knows she’s dating McKay, and she frowns when she comes around the corner. “Colonel Sheppard, what’s going on?”

 

“Tony was injured on his last mission, and the Ancient healing device can help,” John replies. “That’s why he’s here.”

 

“Congratulations on your marriage,” Keller says. “I don’t think I’ve had the chance to say that yet, Assistant Director DiNozzo. Or is it Sheppard?”

 

“Still DiNozzo,” Tony replies. “Although I have to admit I’m tempted to change it.”

 

Keller hands the device to John. “I’ll let you do the honors, Colonel. You have better control than most of us around here.”

 

“You’re giving us permission to play doctor?” Tony asks with a grin.

 

Keller rolls her eyes. “I don’t want to know what you two get up to in Colonel Sheppard’s quarters. I do want to take a look at that hand once you’re done, though, John.”

 

“Of course, doc,” John agrees easily. “No problem.”

 

Tony watches him work and glanced around. Like the rest of Atlantis, the infirmary is full of light, and the beauty of the place strikes him again. Tony wishes there were a way for him to stay here, because he loves it, and John is here, but he’ll appreciate the time that he does have.

 

“That should do it,” John says, stepping back. “I’ll grab the doctor.”

 

Tony wiggles his fingers and finds the movement a lot easier now.

 

“No moving,” Keller orders when she sees him. “Not until I’ve had a chance to do a scan.”

 

Tony winces. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

 

“Let me just run this real quick,” Keller replies. “And then I’ll send you both on your way.”

 

She runs the scan. “Looks like you’ve got some healing fractures, but the healing wand took care of the ligament and tendon damage.”

 

“You pulled my medical records?” Tony asks.

 

“You’re lucky they had the resources for the basic scans on the _George Hammond_ ,” Keller tells him. “Otherwise, you’d have been sorted back to Earth whether you liked it or not.”

 

Tony shrugs. “I would have gone back to Earth if it came down to it, but I knew I could get excellent treatment here.”

 

“Don’t bother kissing my ass,” she replies. “I know exactly what you’re doing here, and it has nothing to do with the medical treatment.”

 

“Love knows no obstacle,” Tony says grandly.

 

Keller snorts. “You know, somehow I’m not surprised that Colonel Sheppard wound up with a romantic.”

 

John snorts. “Right. Come on, Mr. Romantic. You’ve got to be tired.”

 

“Do you need any pain medication?” Keller asks.

 

Tony shakes his head. “No, they gave me extra-strength Advil. Anything stronger makes me loopy.”

 

“Come see me if you change your mind,” Keller replies.

 

“You don’t have anything to prove to me,” John says as they leave the infirmary.

 

Tony shrugs. “It’s not about that. I really do get loopy, and I want to enjoy our time together.”

 

“You can’t do that if you’re in pain,” John counters.

 

Tony nudges him. “I promise, I’ll be fine. And I will let you know if the pain becomes unbearable.”

 

They reach John’s quarters, and it’s just as light and airy as he remembers. “Home sweet home,” Tony jokes, but he can immediately tell that it falls flat. “Sorry. Was that not okay?”

 

John wears an expression that Tony can’t quite read. “You gotta talk to me, John. What’s up?”

 

“I don’t think I can do this,” John admits.

 

Tony feels the words like a blow. “This? What this? Us this, or—”

 

“ _Me_ this,” John replies. “I can’t keep putting Atlantis before you. I don’t _want_ to put Atlantis before our marriage.”

 

Tony blinks. “Wait, what?”

 

“I love you, Tony, and this long distance thing sucks,” John exclaims. “I get you for a few days, and then you’re gone again, and I don’t want to keep doing that.”

 

Tony takes a deep breath. “Okay, let’s sit for this, because I think this conversation is going to be a lot more serious than I anticipated.”

 

“I’m sorry to spring this on you,” John replies miserably, sitting down on the bed.

 

Tony sits next to him. “Shoot.”

 

“I’m bad at communicating,” John admits.

 

Tony nods. “No worse than I am, and we’ve only been married a few months. It’s early days at this point, John.”

 

“Yeah, but I don’t _want_ to not see you for months at a time,” John replies. “I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn’t know how hard.”

 

Tony can’t disagree. He’s stayed busy, which is the only reason he hasn’t been going crazy, but he can foresee a day when he doesn’t have any cases, and his team is humming along, and on that day, his bed is probably going to feel really empty.

 

He has to admit that the only reason it hasn’t so far is that he’s only been falling into it when he’s completely exhausted.

 

“John, you love Atlantis.”

 

“I love you more,” John admits.

 

And there’s that punch to the gut again, but this time it feels different. “I don’t want you to throw your career away for me,” Tony says quietly. “I know it’s hard, John, but this is your life, and I don’t want you to regret us.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” John replies. “This is me using my words.”

 

Tony pulls him close with his good hand. “Then let’s make a plan. We’ll figure out when we call it. If we aren’t okay with living apart, we’ll decide what we want to do after that.”

 

“You’ve got a job, Tony,” John replies. “If I cash in, you can still keep your job.”

 

“And I’m saying that maybe we want to retire to Hawaii,” Tony counters. “You can teach surfing or something, and I can be a private investigator.”

 

“I’m going to draw the line at a mustache,” John jokes. “The Ferrari is negotiable.”

 

“Don’t pull the plug on Atlantis just because it’s hard,” Tony whispers. “If you came to hate me—”

 

“I would never,” John replies, and pulls him in for a kiss. “But yeah, we’ll make a plan.”

 

They stretch out on the bed, and indulge in long, heated kissing, which turns into John jacking them both off.

 

They curl up together afterward, and Tony pulls John close. He doesn’t really want to say goodbye either, and he’d love to be together full time, but he isn’t sure he’s upset in the way that John is.

 

“You okay?” Tony asks.

 

John sighs. “Yeah. I feel kind of stupid.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I thought I could handle this,” John replies.

 

“I just got here, and I’m injured,” Tony counters. “I don’t blame you for feeling a little crazy.”

 

“I don’t know what I want, or I don’t know how I can reconcile what I want,” John says.

 

Tony pulls him close. “Yeah, I know. We can talk about it.”

 

“I’m really terrible at talking.”

 

“We’re doing pretty good right now.” Tony takes a deep breath. “We’ve got a few days, and we’ll talk. We’ll figure it out.”

 

John swallows audibly. “And you?”

 

“If I could stay here forever, I would,” Tony admits. “But I won’t exchange my happiness for yours.”

 

John laughs. “That makes two of us.”

 

“Couple of smart guys like us,” Tony murmurs. “We’ll figure it out. We always have before.”


End file.
